TEEN CENTER :: COLLEGE CENTER : FRESHMAN JOURNAL

FRESHMAN JOURNAL: MAY 17, 2007
'I Would Not Trade My First-Year Experiences for Anything'

Ashley C. Sawyer

When I started preparing for final exams, and packing to go home, I was still sort of oblivious to the idea that this was the end. A year that started off with so much excitement and transition was coming to a close, and I still could not believe that the time had gone so quickly. I was shocked by my own accomplishments and my ability to start all over again and adapt to my new situation. I know there is a lot more ahead of me, new challenges and lessons to learn, but I must commend myself for the year that has just passed, I also have to examine my triumphs and failures.

I have to admit, my first mistake was that I doubted the merits of a state college like Rutgers University. Of course I would hold a little contempt toward the school because it was not one of the Ivy League, top-tier schools I had my heart set on when I was applying to college. Yet once I had accepted that Rutgers was going to be my school, I did my best to excel. I found the opportunities the school offered were as extensive as my ambition. Whatever I put into my experience would be exactly what I would get out of it. I could not waste my first year wishing I was at Georgetown, Columbia or Wellesley or I would have ended up missing out on the opportunities that were in front of me. I am happy that I got involved in campus activities as soon as possible and that I challenged myself by taking on leadership roles and was vocal in my organizations and classes. The friendships I developed and the relationships with deans and advisers helped me be successful over the course of the year.

My second mistake was not appreciating my roommate. For many parts of the year, I felt alone because I was away from my closest friends and the familiar faces of home. The thought perspective was so different here, and it would take a while for me to get adjusted. What is so ironic is usually each evening I'd return to my room and vent to my roommate. I would pick up take-out food for her when she had to work late, and she would do the same for me when I had a meeting. At first, I loathed going back to my dorm room and finding her and her friends there; I was so used my own space-a quiet room where I could read and study. But after I became more assertive about my needs and made clear the things that bothered me, I found a close friend. Of course, there are many who were not as fortunate as I was. Some students had to avoid the dorm so they would not have to encounter their roommates and others will probably never speak to their first-year roommates again. Sometimes it is just the luck of the draw, but other times, the relationship just needs a little building and communication.

My third mistake was how I doubted my ability to flourish. With all humility I can say that as an individual who throughout high school was surrounded by outstanding students, activist and leaders, it was rare that I considered all the talent I possessed. What has been so helpful throughout the year was to remember that the possibilities are truly limitless. During midterms, final exams or other times when I thought I could not handle the work, I would remember how I managed to get through my junior year in high school, the SAT, AP exams and the like. I would also remember that I was not the first person in the world to go to college. This had been done many times before, and if anyone else could do it, I would do it and do it well.

I decided that my talents were too extensive to settle for mediocrity, and that these were the years that would count. I took on the attitude that Rutgers would be my canvas, and I would take the opportunity that many throughout the world, especially women, would never get the chance to take advantage of, and I would paint a masterpiece. I understand the world that awaits me upon graduation is a competitive one, but from these days on, I am to put forth the type of effort that will position me to go wherever my heart desires. When I really examine everything, it's all about perspective and maybe that is the most important lesson to learn about college-once you get here, the attitude that you take on will define you. I understand that not every door will be opened to me, and I will be challenged not only academically but on a personal level, and the way that I chose to handle the obstacles before me, will define who I am to become and the contributions I will make to the world.

Even with all the headaches and ups and downs, I would not trade my first-year experiences for anything. I had the privilege to attend a small women's college within a large university and to grow not only academically but as an individual. Being privileged to constantly reflect and write about my experiences has kept me vigilant to the things I have yet to learn and has reminded me of the progress I have made. My goals for the next three years are to constantly evaluate my situations, to take advantage of as many opportunities as possible, to challenge myself, to stand out and to maintain a mindset of success.