TEEN CENTER :: COLLEGE CENTER

FRESHMAN JOURNAL: JANUARY 11, 2005

Missing Pieces

By Abha Bhattarai

Like nearly half of the freshman girls at Northwestern, I was intrigued by the glamour and the glitz of Greek life. Sorority life seemed to have all the grandeur of a Hollywood lifestyle - the parties, the latest fashions, the drama. So it was that when the registration deadline for sorority rush rolled around, I signed up without giving it second thought.

Of course I knew there were other issues beneath the glamour. I also knew that my decision to rush was driven by a search for a purpose on campus, and I knew I would have to come to terms with that at some point. But being in the houses, seeing the baby grand pianos and fireplaces in the living rooms, my doubts were easy to overlook.

Sense of Purpose

The biggest difference between being at Northwestern and being at home was that, during Christmas break, I felt like I regained the sense of purpose I'd left behind after high school. I went back to having a car, having errands to run, having a definite role to play that affected other people. I realized that the biggest mistake I'd made my first quarter was that I'd more or less confined myself to my suite. I'd written a few articles for the student newspaper and ventured out to the city every now and then, but I hadn't followed through with any of the student organizations I'd signed up for or attempted to fulfill the kind of leadership roles I was used to in high school.

My high school experience was defined by a list of extracurricular activities and leadership positions. Without that, I felt pretty insignificant among 8,000 other students - and that's where Greek life fit into place.

Quick Fix?

I decided to rush on the basis of stories upperclassmen had told me about having hated Northwestern for the first quarter until finding a niche within a fraternity or sorority. But after a few nights of the rush process, of getting dolled up and engaging in the same type of casual conversation with so many girls, I realized that I was relying on Greek life to be a quick fix for everything I felt was missing from my life at Northwestern.

I envied my roommate's excitement and enthusiasm. Miriam told me she was sure that the experience was exactly what she needed socially. The mixers, the date parties, the BBQs each of the chapters promised prospective students were the answer to the dorm life we were beginning to be bored with. She was confident in her decision the way I wished I could've been, but somehow, I just wasn't ready. I had questions I couldn't resolve during rush week (though, trust me, I tried) - Would I just give up making new friends on my own? Could I manage living in a house with all girls all of the time? What about the money?

Halfway through the week-long rush, I decided that I would wait until next year to pledge. I needed to establish my role on campus before I jumped into Greek life.

Meanwhile, I've been living vicariously through Miriam, listening to her stories and helping her decide which pair of shoes to wear with her cocktail dress. Tonight, she'll find out which sorority has invited her to pledge (at Northwestern, the process lends itself to only one bid per girl at the end of rush week). And like me, she will, in her own way, begin piecing together the parts of college life that are missing.