TEEN CENTER :: COLLEGE CENTER :: FRESHMAN JOURNAL

June 2002

A New Beginning

By Caitlin Noris
Special to The Wall Street Journal

Graduation is not an ending, but a beginning. Yet I feel like I am leaving everything I know behind. After four long years of high school, I will walk on stage, turn my tassel, and receive my diploma. It is difficult for me to imagine that next year there will be no Open House or pep rallies, no football games or cheerleading tryouts, and no progress reports or silly group projects.

Before I start exploring my every fear and expectation concerning college, let me introduce myself. My name is Katie, and I was born and raised in Miami, Florida. Next year, I will be attending the University of Pittsburgh on an academic scholarship. I will be moving seven states away from my mom, my dad, and my friends. Luckily, my best friend Lisette is also going to Pitt. Knowing I will not be alone on my journey to college makes it so much easier.

Moving On

My mother has been crying intermittently for at least the last month. I cannot even imagine how it will be when I move out. I know she is happy for me, but I suppose it is scary for us both to move on with our lives. She is not only worried about missing me, but somehow paying for it all. The entire process, from taking the SATs (twice) and ACTs (twice), to applying to schools (a total of seven), to buying dorm supplies (which includes more random things than I ever imagined), has left a pretty hefty dent in our bank account. Wading through the mucky waters of the FASFA and Stafford Loans is enough to intimidate any normally sane person. We are all in the same boat.

I am worried about classes, too. I have always been a strong academic student -- I have taken AP classes -- however, I somehow do not feel quite prepared. My friend Lisette's greatest fear is sleeping through her very first class at college. I have nightmares about my laptop crashing and losing a twelve-page report. Judging from the horror stories I have heard from students already in college, our fears are not unfounded.

Mostly, I am focusing on my life in high school right now. The amazing amount of activities planned out for seniors does allow me to think very far into the future. Today, in fact, was cap and gown distribution. It was the oddest thing to pull on that white robe and affix the tassel onto my cap. By the way, no one looks good in graduation attire. Yet even as we joked about looking like giant marshmallows, I was so proud of my friends and myself. Although we all went through the same, often menial, motions every day for the last four years, it seems difficult to imagine that we actually made it. I keep imaging that I will walk through the hallways next year like I have since I was 14. Yet I will not. Although the idea of leaving does make me nostalgic, I am also looking forward to the future.

Facing the Future

College is something that cannot be planned for enough. It is the time in my life that I will learn the most -- not just academically, but socially as well. I look toward the next year with anticipation. I lay awake at night with questions swarming in my head, wondering what the future will behold.

What will my dorm look like? Will I get the grades I want? How fun are those parties going to be? Am I going to be homesick?

While my expectations are high, I am torn between the new and the old. All at once, I am nervous, excited, sad and happy. My emotions as a high school senior are unique and will never be repeated.

On June 12 at 8:00 in the evening, my school will hold our graduation ceremonies. As I sit amongst the 730 other seniors I shared this incredible journey with, I will remind myself that this is a commencement. New beginnings can only occur with an ending.

Caitlin Noris, originally from Miami, Fla., is a freshman at the University of Pittsburgh. Her Freshman Journal will be updated periodically on the Classroom Edition Web site.